


Already Gone

by MsImpala85



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-10-08 01:16:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17376779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsImpala85/pseuds/MsImpala85





	Already Gone

I was human, right? That’s what I thought. We had a well-executed plan and Dean broke it by being the human martyr. He knew I was pissed, but him being angry at me was the final straw. This was the third time he had done this and had taken it out on me. Which meant another argument about how I’m incompetent and can’t do my job right. 

We pulled up to the hotel and I was the first one out of the car heading up to the office to see if they had another room. They had one room left and it was on the other side of the hotel. I walked back to the boy’s room to get your things, I didn’t say anything, I just collected my things and tried to leave. Sam tried to stop me, but I just hugged him, kissing him on the cheek and left. 

Once I got to my room, I threw my stuff on the bed and slid down to the floor at the foot of the bed. I put my head on my knees trying to get deep breaths, so I didn’t have a panic attack, but that wasn’t happening tonight. I started sobbing and shaking, I tried so hard to calm myself down, but it was just making things worse. 

Sam knew about my past and had also witnessed my panic attacks. Dean and I had dated for a while, but he decided for both of us it wasn’t going to work. I still don’t know why I stayed other than Sam, it didn’t help either when Dean started bringing women back to the bunker or hotel of the week. It absolutely crushed me, I wish I couldn’t feel anything. 

Then it dawned on me, I made a phone call and waited for my guest. I heard the knock on the door and looked through the peep hole. I opened the door and welcomed Crowley in the room. “What can I do for you love?” “I don’t want my soul anymore, I want no emotions, nothing!” “Why is this darling?” 

I told him what was going on and his face softened at my heartbreak and agreed to it and said he would keep in a special place in case I wanted it back. After everything was done, I felt amazing, I was happy, no emotion what so ever. I grabbed my jacket and headed off to the bar down the street it was about time I got laid.

I walked in and saw Dean sitting at the bar, I rolled my eyes and found my target. His black hair and blue eyes were mesmerizing. I walked up and started flirting right away and showed interest as well. After a couple games of pool, we headed out to his place, it was amazing, I didn’t feel the burden of heartbreak and sadness. 

Once we got to his house, I walked in to get hit in the back of the head. Once I started coming around, I saw the room I had gotten, and knew it was a fucking trap. “Crowley!! You’re a dead man you fucker!!” I tried to get out, but it was no use, I saw the door open to see the brothers come in. “GET ME OUT!!” 

“No can-do sweetheart! You really think that Crowley wouldn’t tell us?” I started laughing at these idiots, and I looked squarely at Dean and saw his heartbreak. “Don’t tell me your surprised Dean?? You start bringing women home right after we break up and you didn’t think it wouldn’t affect me? It broke me Dean! So, you are the one I blame for this!” 

Crowley had showed up and gave them the bottle with my soul in it. My soul had reentered my body and I screamed out in the mental pain that had been inflicted. Sam had untied me, and I ran out of the room back to my own and grabbed my duffle, I was done with this, I needed to heal. 

Both boys were standing by the door, blocking my only way out. “Get out of my way!” “No we are going to talk!” “Nothing to talk about Dean, you found someone better than me so I’m done I can’t stay.” “That’s not true.” I was so done with this crap. I pushed my way out and left the hotel in my dust. 

I found a car lot and had gotten a cheap crap car to get myself back to the bunker to get my own vehicle and my belongings. I reached the bunker around three am and walked into my room. I didn’t have much but a lot of everything was from Dean, so I put everything he had given me in a box and set it on his bed. I took off the promise ring he had gotten for me on our third anniversary and said goodbye to the only place I called home. 

Time Skip  
I had found a cheap apartment and started hunting alone again. Sam had checked in but knew I needed the space, so we communicated by email. In the latest message, he had told me Dean had stopped bringing women back since that night. I wrote back and said it was too late for anything to be fixed and had also told him I had found a hunt and that I would let him know when I got back home.  
I figured it was a djinn, so I had gotten what I had needed and had a backup plan just in case things went wrong. I typed out an email to be sent at a certain time frame with the place and research I had done so if something went wrong, they would know where to find me. I found the factory and found the area where the victims were, only it wasn’t just one djinn it was a group. I was trapped in a corner as the leader came at me. Touching me with his glowing hands, he knocked me out into darkness. 

I started waking up and felt an arm around my stomach and turned to see Dean asleep. I tried moving but noticed I was very pregnant. “Baby wake you up again?” I looked over and saw a ring on his left finger, I then looked down and saw an engagement and wedding band on my left hand. “You okay sweetheart? You look pale.” 

I was really confused, Dean had broken things off, hadn’t he? “Since it’s Saturday why don’t we stay in bed all day? Watch some movies and just relax.” “That sounds amazing!” “I’m going to get breakfast made, why don’t you go and get a hot bath” I nodded happily, he kissed me sweetly and left the room. This was amazing, and I could really care less if I went back. I had what I wanted right here.  
The sun was just setting when I felt pain in my back, and I swore I could hear Dean yelling to snap out of it. That it wasn’t real and to please come back, I knew what I had to do, but did I really want to do that? I made the hard decision and did what I had to do to go back no matter how much it was going to hurt.

I started coming too, feeling something familiar, I cracked open my eyes to see Deans room in the bunker. I looked next to me and saw him asleep next to me, I took a hard look and saw that he was just as broken maybe even more than I was. I didn’t know what to do, I love Dean, and I always will. Even though he shattered me and broke me in so many ways. 

I tried moving and immediately felt pain shoot through my body, making me cry out and waking up Dean. What saw next was even more heartbreaking, his eyes were bloodshot, and I could see more tears welling up in his sad but beautiful green eyes. His hands grasped my face, making sure it was real.

“Dean?” He pulled me to him and cried into my neck, I had never seen him show this much emotion, not even with us dating. I held onto him and let him get it all out, I put my mouth next his ear whispering how much I had missed him and how much I loved him no matter what. 

“I’m so sorry baby, I should have talked to you but instead I almost got you killed. I never went all the way with those women, I couldn’t.” “Oh Dean’” I barely got it out before going into tears myself. Unknowingly to Dean I was also mourning the life in my dream, I wanted that for real. “I’m going to get cleaned up ok?” 

He reluctantly let me go but getting up was another thing. I tried moving but screamed out in pain. “Alright honey I’m going to lift you up ok?” He moved to my side of the bed and gently picked me up. I tried to not to scream but it just hurt too much, I took deep shuddering breaths trying to not scream in his ears.

It was like that for weeks until I was fully healed, he tried to start a conversation, but I always changed the subject. It was a Saturday morning and we had nothing in kitchen, so I got a shower and decided to get some groceries. I was about to walk into the library when I heard the boys talking. “Dean you can’t expect everything to go back to normal, you broke her heart dude!” “I know Sam! I Really screwed up! I can see it every day when I look at her!”

I walked in pretending to have not heard the conversation, “I’m making a supply run, anything special?” Both boys shook their heads not thinking of anything. “Dean would you like to join me? I don’t really feel like driving.” He nodded silently and watched him walk out. 

“I’m hoping things can get talked out while we’re out.” “You know he still loves you, I can see it.” “Then why did he break my heart repeatedly.” “That’s what Dean does.” I nodded my head and saw Dean come back, we headed out hoping that we could fix this.

The radio played softly as we drove in silence, it was tense, that’s for sure. Suddenly he pulled the car over and turned off the engine. I looked over to see different emotions go across his face. “I wish I could take it back, all of it.” “I know.” 

“I had everything I wanted in that world, we were married, and I was pregnant. I wanted to stay so bad, just so I didn’t have to hurt.” I saw him getting his wallet out and pull out the promise ring I had put on his bed. “I know we can’t officially get married but I would love to have you back by my side, and we could always start trying to have a family. It would make me the happiest man in the world.”  
I kept repeating ‘yes’ as he put the ring back on my finger, that’s where it belonged. We got back on the road and headed to the grocery store, getting what we needed. I walked to women’s aisle and grabbed pregnancy tests to be prepared.

Over the weeks, we had started trying and just getting back to normal. We told Sam our plan and he was beyond excited to have a niece or nephew he could spoil rotten. On this spring night, Dean had driven us to an open field enjoying each other’s company. When things got intense and heated, we got in the back of baby and just enjoyed the feel of each other’s skin. 

It was three weeks after this, that I really wasn’t feeling good and Dean suggested to see if I was indeed pregnant. It was the longest five minutes of my life; my alarm went off and we got up to see the results. ‘Positive’ on both sticks, tears started rolling down your cheek at your dream becoming a reality. I saw Dean drop to his knees kissing my not there bump as tears streamed down his face. Life couldn’t get much better than this…


End file.
